In case of emergency, please put on your pants

Cover the kids’ eyes–just when you thought it was safe to fly again, the sky gets its own nude beach. The German travel agency OssiUrlaubs just started taking bookings for its inaugural nudist daytrip flight from Erfurt to the Baltic Sea resort of Usedom this July.

Actually, when I heard about this on NPR the other morning, the first thing I thought was “oy, I hope the plane has more leg room than most commercial jets.” The second thought was, “I guess that makes security screenings a lot easier.” Turns out, though, the passengers have to be fully dressed for both the embarkation and disembarkation process. Also, it’s hard enough just taking off a jacket in the tiny space allotted for your personal real estate during a flight. What a sight that plane-wide strip-tease must be once the machine takes to the air. Hope they don’t hit turbulence.

I really don’t mean to dis the folks interested in “nudism,” or “naturism,” or “free body culture” (FKK) as it’s called in Germany. Those people get the short end of the teasing stick. Someone talks about walking around naked and we’re back in the fourth grade, blushing and giggling furiously because someone said “butt” or “fart.” Even so, I’m having a hard time wrapping my adult brain around the need to be naked at 10,000 feet in the air, especially when you know you’ll just have to get dressed again to get off the plane. I can understand padding around a beach in the buff, but I’m a little stumped on this one. But then, I’ve never really understood football either, so I’m obviously not a beacon of popular wisdom.

Ultimately, I wish those travelers a smooth flight, and considerate co-passengers. And if they can swing it, a roomy aisle seat.

Clarissa Cutrell Travel